un dia loco

Yesterday cannot really be put into words, but I am going to do my best.

During the middle of last week, we had talked about the possibility of traveling to the Haiti/Dominican Republic border to meet a potencial family that was interested in adopting Ian that coming Friday (yesterday). We had not heard a response from them confirming the trip, so Thursday night Jennie called them to confirm. (Their internet had been down for a few days). The trip was on.

The woman that we had been in contact with had spoken greatly of this Haitian couple. Jennie knows a family here that knows this woman, Laurie, and he said that he had great respect for her and would take her at her word. He then preceded to say that you might want to consider leaving Ian with them if it felt right, as opposed to it just being an introduction. This sounded crazy (especially being the night before we were planning to go). The reality of it though was that it made sense. The couple had a bit of troubling figuring out how they would get to the border, as far as transportation goes. It is also a bit difficult for Haitians (or anyone really) to cross the border. We went on a market day though, so there are no fees. So, not only is it a difficult thing to do, but since the people we had talked to had great respect for everyone involved, we had to agree and say that if it felt right we would leave Ian there.

So, Thursday night we packed up all of Ian's things in case this was going to be it. His clothes (plus some that were still a bit too big), his diapers, wipes, towels, wash clothes, bottles, sippy cups, books, toys, blankets, car seat, stroller, and play pen (which we had never used but figured it would be better than the crib he is quickly outgrowing) were all packed up just in case. The border is about 3 hours from us and we had planned to meet them at 8:30am, so Friday was an early day. Jennie, Jennie's finance Miguel, his sister Ana, Alexia, and I, plus Ian all piled into the car with all of Ian's things and were on the road by 5am. Jim's last day here was Friday as well, so he did not make the trip with us. He was nice enough though to get up, say goodbye, and send us off.

We got to the border, parked the car, and walked with Ian to find some breakfast before crossing over. A group of officers stopped us because we literally stood out like a sore thumb. They accused us of stealing this Haitian baby and wanted money from us as a bribe to let us go. After showing his guardianship papers they let us go and were nice about it. All this happened before even getting to the border gate. When it came time to cross, Miguel held Ian because it didn't look quite so obvious (he's Dominican).

The border area was CRAZY. People were everywhere, and everyone was Haitian. Woman were carrying everything from clothes to eggs to shoes to toys on their heads. Men were pushing and pulling huge carts full of sacks and sacks of rice and other things. Miguel's sister grabbed my hand as we walked, and I was not reluctant in the least to hold on to hers as we maneuvered through the crowds of people. As the border became closer and closer, I realized that I had completely forgot to bring any type of identification with me. Jennie said that hopefully it wouldn't be a problem.

As we crossed the border, this woman starting speaking in my face with urgency. We had been told to walk straight and keep going and ignore anyone who tried to stop us. I didn't realize though that this woman was yelling, "Jennie. Jennie." We all pulled over to the side when we realized that we had encountered the Haitian couple.

We were still on the DR side of the border, so we quickly handed Ian to the woman to carry across (because remember, we really did stand out so much, especially with a Haitian baby in hand). The woman got across fine. Jennie, Miguel, and Ana (who were all in front of me) got stopped. Alexia and I kept walking trying our best to blend in with the crowd. Two men in uniform started calling out to me and Alexia as we went with the crowd of people. We tried to keep walking but they stopped us and made us walk back up to the border where the rest of our group was standing. I was nervous because the guy had been yelling out "passport," which I did not have. Apparently Jennie, Miguel, and Ana had run into the same problem and had been talking to the guards saying that they were going to cross and then shortly after come right back over. As Alexia and I reached them, Jennie told all of us to turn and keep going. I didn't hesitate. It's not that crossing the border is bad or dangerous, there are just so many people there and policeman always try and get bribes from the 'blancitos.'

Our plan was to keep walking once we passed the border until there were no more vendors in case the group got separated. Alexia and I did just that. We walked for a while, but didn't see anyone in our group. As we neared the last of the vendors, we didn't think it would be wise to stop and stand there, so I slowly got a rock out of my shoe and then slowly put all of my braids up in a ponytail. When then decided to slowly start walking back the other direction, as we still couldn't see Jennie, Miguel, Ana, Ian, the couple, or the translators. We soon saw Miguel and one of the translators walking towards us. The group had all been pushed off of the main road and were waiting by the car that the couple had rented. We were all united. Our problems were not yet over though.

In total, there were 10 people, and the car they had rented held 5. We couldn't drive anywhere away from the craziness. Not only that, but all of the open space was not shaded at all. It is HOT there, and there are no trees to provide a comfortable place to rest. So, we ended up walking up some and stood in a small space between two different vendors.

The couple spoke no English, no Spanish, only Creole. There were a couple guys there from the university who knew some English and some Spanish, so they translated to the couple. We told them all about Ian and his past and found out a little about them. All the while, the woman was holding Ian and he was not complaining in the least. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. After telling about Ian, I tried saying a few reminder things and wanted to know some more about the couple, but the translator guy was not really translating to them anymore since Jennie had stopped talking. None of us really cared for him much, but did very much as far as the couple was concerned. A crowd began to form in the little area where we were standing. Everyone was trying to listen in to figure out what we were doing. Throughout the whole time standing there I could not stop crying because I knew that this could very well be the last time I would see Ian, or at least least the last time we would see him with having the title of his 'mom.'

We took a picture of the two of them with Ian as they started asking about Ian's things and were talking of the best way to bring it over. Jennie looked over and asked what we thought. I wished that the circumstances had been different, but knew that I couldn't change that. I also saw how fine Ian was doing being held by the woman, and I knew that this would really be the best for Ian. He needs a family that can love and care for him and grow him up. It's hard for a handful of young woman to have that responsibility, and it would not be fair to Ian.

I could not believe how quickly everything seemed to happen. Before I knew it, we were all leaving the spot where we had all been talking. The translators and the husband came with us to cross the border, the woman and Ian stayed in Haiti. I didn't even get to give him a kiss and say goodbye. We had already drawn so much attention getting over the border, we had not planned to do it again. So the men came back over with us to get all of Ian's things. We got stopped once in the DR because the Haitian men did not have any papers or passports with them. One had to wait there for us to come back.

We got to the car and began unloading all of the things. I tried asking the husband what his name was, but he responded 'yes' in Creole. Eventually he figured it out and told me, and then I told him my name. They were able to carry all the suitcases and everything on their own. (The husband carried the largest suitcase and the playpen on his head). And off they went.

I was able to tell that the husband was very gentile and very kind while we unloaded the car, and that while the woman was holding Ian, she was very happy. It was a hard day. After all of this happened, it was only shortly after 10 am (11am DR time). We all thought that we would be able to sit in a park and leisurely sit and talk for hours and get to know the couple, but that sadly was not the case. We all had mixed feelings about how (quickly) the day went, but what it came down to was learning to trust. Learning to trust the people who had talked so greatly towards the American contact (Laurie) we had been in communication with the week before. Learning to trust Laurie who had spoken so greatly of this couple. And most importantly, learning to trust the Lord in that He knows what he is doing and His timing is not the same as our own.

We took a longer (but beautiful) way home. After dropping off Miguel and Ana in Montellano and picking up something for dinner, we walked into an empty, quiet house. All of Ian's things were gone. Ian was gone, and all of his giggling and squeals and laughing. Not only that but Jim and all of his things as well.

Today has been interesting. A day to rest from the day before. A day of quietness and without responsibility. A day very different from every other day since I have been here. The day I arrived in the DR 2 months ago was also the day that Ian was brought to us. So it will be interesting to see how the next few months unfold. We know that it will not be the last time that we see Ian because of that contact that we still have with Laurie, and the possibility in a few months to go and visit him once he has settled in and adjusted.

We did what we were called to do when first taking in Ian, we found a good family for him which in turn gives him life, and for that I am overjoyed. It was a lot harder though than I thought (in every sense).

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27